You*

Yesterday was the first day that we didn't talk. That didn't happen since a long time ago, when we didn't have all the apps or technology to communicate. I don't know yet how many days we're going to spend not talking...


You were my first thought when I woke up in the morning. My heart raised, and it couldn't lower its pace. The day was just beginning, and I knew it was going to be long not knowing about you. How are you? How are you feeling?. I hope you're ok. 


I have to say that I regret all the stupid things that I did that hurt you. I'm so very sorry for the unnecessary pain I made you go through. I love you, and hurting you was something I never thought of doing. However, I was childish or worse than that, stupid, and I put you through this.


I love you, and I miss you... Do you miss me?

Pequeñina*

Seven years, five months and one day ago.

We used to count each month when you were brand (monthly) new. I remember perfectly the day of your arrival. I was waiting for my mom to pick me up at school. It was somewhat late, and I was unaware that you were on your way. So to kill some time, I called who I used to talk often back then, but since I wanted to leave already, I hung up and called my mom again. This time she answered, and I heard you. That was the very first time I felt excited about the beauty of life. It was plain beautiful to hear you cry right when you arrived. I was touched by life in a way that I hadn't and haven't before.

To see you all grown up but still a kid makes me feel and appreciate the beauty I get to live with you while I can.

You're a gift. Our gift.

Cuore*

The intro of a new something. Pretending to ignore it because acknowledging it it's what everybody does.

A heartburn, a heartache... A heart burning up in flames because it's still alive and because it's able to still feel. A racing heart. A heart.

Moving on...

Absence*

You're not here again, and I have wondered if there will be no tomorrow. The obvious silence came like a breeze of speculation with thoughts impossible to ignore. No excuses made in your honor, though. I don't want to wait for anything because that would mean that I am hopeful. However, deep inside of me I feel like I should wait and see if it wasn't as I thought it was. But after that, if the train doesn't make it to the station at the time that is expected or anytime at all, I will leave and get as far away as I can. I can't and I don't want to go through that process because of the 'unknown' factor.
Because of the fact that today's happening is a statement of an internal feeling still not acknowledged by you, and since I have seen the sign "I don't care" imprinted in your silence, I know I shouldn't have made it to this point.
You may have said words that seemed honest and true. Words that felt real because they were accompanied with some emotion. Then, I rewind and get to the part where I made my first observation... I didn't believe in you, and I didn't trust you, I didn't even wanted to because if you had plans for somebody else (unknown to them at that moment), what could be of me if I dared to "play" with you. Fire games always end up in disaster if you don't know when and how to quit.
So today was unfair and rude, and I believe there will be no tomorrow. Why? Because you are showing some patterns and signals that announce the upcoming event. Maybe I'm being pessimistic and very creative with my thoughts, but this is because I only know what has (not) happened until this very moment. I'm living in the present, and my mind is set correctly.
Perhaps that hunch-bad feeling was about today or some other occurrence on a different day that has remained undisclosed. Yes, there is a deadline, and all of the other favorable evidence to you, it just doesn't make any difference.
I wish I could believe you. I wish I could trust you. But most of all, I wish it would have been real. Now I can't help myself but to wish to make it to that place I discovered before. The place where it was only me, my thoughts and Him.

I will find the way again.

Malicia*

Lo que dicen es imperdonable. Palabras con tono de prejuicio y odio que jamas intentan borrar con un perdón o arrepentimiento. Palabras que al hacer contacto con alguien son como cristales diminutos que penetran profundo sin dejar rastro aparente. Dolor y lágrimas. La fortaleza cae y se rompe. Estos ataques ya habían ocurrido, y por qué cae de nuevo como si fuese la primera vez?. Siempre será asi por que al procesarlo resultará increíble ya que es algo que no debe ser. Esta vez la culpa no está en quien lo siente.

Intentos fallidos que solo quedan en eso. Oportunidades que se pasan al intentar perfeccionar la manera de tomarlas. Juegos que para el conciente solo son una realidad cuando el subconciente mantiene un bajo perfil esperando el momento exacto para salvar al conciente. En este juego no hay game over o un botón para hacer shut down. Todo esto resulta increíble pero... para creer lo increíble, hay que vivirlo.

indescifrable*

Gente llegó y se fue. Cambiaron ideas, sentimientos y vidas. Dejaron su huella y no notaron lo grande que quedó. Una chica espectacular y completa o una personita patetica y triste?.

Algo invisible es algo memorizado. Verdades reveladas en clave para no dejar escapar su esencia.

Sin tener clara la idea, una caja de pandora se pasea. Pensaba que era algo muy unico y positivo y asi surgió cierto orgullo. Al saber el significado, el telón cayó y la intriga disipó y ciertas respuestas se hicieron notar.

Alguien diferente creía que le sucederían las mismas cosas que a los demás. Al parecer no y la vida es como un buen verano con musica que lo inspira y luce mejor que antes. Recuerdos inolvidables que de vez en cuando son acompañados con su aura especial.

Regresa a mi y no te vayas. Mejora y sé mi complemento. Acompañame al mejor viaje. Despierta y levantate aunque nada te espera.

Yo te espero.

Comeback*

After a long time of keeping everything to myself... it might be time to start sharing again. The following posts are from some months ago that represent my present life.