You're not here again, and I have wondered if there will be no tomorrow. The obvious silence came like a breeze of speculation with thoughts impossible to ignore. No excuses made in your honor, though. I don't want to wait for anything because that would mean that I am hopeful. However, deep inside of me I feel like I should wait and see if it wasn't as I thought it was. But after that, if the train doesn't make it to the station at the time that is expected or anytime at all, I will leave and get as far away as I can. I can't and I don't want to go through that process because of the 'unknown' factor.
Because of the fact that today's happening is a statement of an internal feeling still not acknowledged by you, and since I have seen the sign "I don't care" imprinted in your silence, I know I shouldn't have made it to this point.
You may have said words that seemed honest and true. Words that felt real because they were accompanied with some emotion. Then, I rewind and get to the part where I made my first observation... I didn't believe in you, and I didn't trust you, I didn't even wanted to because if you had plans for somebody else (unknown to them at that moment), what could be of me if I dared to "play" with you. Fire games always end up in disaster if you don't know when and how to quit.
So today was unfair and rude, and I believe there will be no tomorrow. Why? Because you are showing some patterns and signals that announce the upcoming event. Maybe I'm being pessimistic and very creative with my thoughts, but this is because I only know what has (not) happened until this very moment. I'm living in the present, and my mind is set correctly.
Perhaps that hunch-bad feeling was about today or some other occurrence on a different day that has remained undisclosed. Yes, there is a deadline, and all of the other favorable evidence to you, it just doesn't make any difference.
I wish I could believe you. I wish I could trust you. But most of all, I wish it would have been real. Now I can't help myself but to wish to make it to that place I discovered before. The place where it was only me, my thoughts and Him.
Because of the fact that today's happening is a statement of an internal feeling still not acknowledged by you, and since I have seen the sign "I don't care" imprinted in your silence, I know I shouldn't have made it to this point.
You may have said words that seemed honest and true. Words that felt real because they were accompanied with some emotion. Then, I rewind and get to the part where I made my first observation... I didn't believe in you, and I didn't trust you, I didn't even wanted to because if you had plans for somebody else (unknown to them at that moment), what could be of me if I dared to "play" with you. Fire games always end up in disaster if you don't know when and how to quit.
So today was unfair and rude, and I believe there will be no tomorrow. Why? Because you are showing some patterns and signals that announce the upcoming event. Maybe I'm being pessimistic and very creative with my thoughts, but this is because I only know what has (not) happened until this very moment. I'm living in the present, and my mind is set correctly.
Perhaps that hunch-bad feeling was about today or some other occurrence on a different day that has remained undisclosed. Yes, there is a deadline, and all of the other favorable evidence to you, it just doesn't make any difference.
I wish I could believe you. I wish I could trust you. But most of all, I wish it would have been real. Now I can't help myself but to wish to make it to that place I discovered before. The place where it was only me, my thoughts and Him.
I will find the way again.
No hay comentarios:
Publicar un comentario