For the past six weeks I was living a dream...my dream. It all happened too fast. I would like not to remember any of it because nostalgia will find its way to reach my heart, but it wasn't bad at all. I started this year with one of my best friends, and she told me "this year will be different". It felt like a positive warning, like when someone tells you to buckle up and hold on to your seat because it will be a different ride. It is the fifth month of the year, and it has been quite a ride. All that I didn't live and learn during the past five years due to my living limbo/coma, I've lived it during these past five months. What I have to unlearn is crying. It has to stop because it doesn't make any sense to be so emotional if I understand what is being said.
It seemed like he was different, so I trusted him. He made me feel important and special. I felt that I mattered. As I have told my closest friends, those who have been with me since the beginning and until now, these past years have been terrible. I used to believe in myself, and if things didn't happen immediately, I used to believe that they would happen some other time. I used to have hope for the future, but after falling too many times all of that went away. I still can't say that I'm self confident and that I believe in myself, but sometihng did change or came back to me, I believe that love does exist. I experienced one type of love from someone who seems to be true to himself.
Maybe I will never have someone to care for me, someone that will love me and that will think that I'm unique and special. I have friends that think that of me. Friends are forever...but lovers? not always. Today I remember that when I was a child, I wanted to have someone that would love me. I'm not impossible to be with, but I should realize that maybe love is not meant for me. Maybe I'm the type of girl that will only be liked and somewhat loved for a couple of months or even less than that. Then, I will be thrown away and be laughed at to finally be forgotten.
It seemed like he was different, so I trusted him. He made me feel important and special. I felt that I mattered. As I have told my closest friends, those who have been with me since the beginning and until now, these past years have been terrible. I used to believe in myself, and if things didn't happen immediately, I used to believe that they would happen some other time. I used to have hope for the future, but after falling too many times all of that went away. I still can't say that I'm self confident and that I believe in myself, but sometihng did change or came back to me, I believe that love does exist. I experienced one type of love from someone who seems to be true to himself.
Maybe I will never have someone to care for me, someone that will love me and that will think that I'm unique and special. I have friends that think that of me. Friends are forever...but lovers? not always. Today I remember that when I was a child, I wanted to have someone that would love me. I'm not impossible to be with, but I should realize that maybe love is not meant for me. Maybe I'm the type of girl that will only be liked and somewhat loved for a couple of months or even less than that. Then, I will be thrown away and be laughed at to finally be forgotten.
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