Complicated*

I’m complicated. I don’t even understand myself. I don’t know what I want, but I am sure I want more. I’ve tried to find my way, my purpose in life, but it becomes harder each time I try a new way to achieve it. I’m surrounded by people that have helped me to understand myself, but in the end I complicate everything as usual. I’m overwhelmed. Overwhelmed with life, people…everything. My way of thinking and perceiving things is so tangled that I never have a way to untangle it. Even in my dreams, everything is complicated, and I suffer the same as in life. Maybe my dreams are like my life, or maybe my life is a dream that becomes a nightmare each time I become self conscious and try to do the right thing, but I end up doing the opposite. Maybe I’m not true to myself… and what I think that bothers me, it's not really it, but I try to cover it with that, so that I won't look like a fool. Life has passed me by, and I will never have my moment.